There is Strength in Recovery
by brixxen
Summary: Levy and Lucy are kidnapped. Things happen and Levy has to deal with her new sense of self. Will Gajeel lend her the support she needs to recover? Warning: this story is about rape and the recovery afterwards. Not for the light hearted. Gale with slight Nalu.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey all! Just a quick warning: this story is rated M for rape, language and later on sexual stuffs so please read with caution. If rape/recovery from rape bothers you please don't read. You have been warned.

I do not own Fairy Tail or it's characters. Hiro Mashima does. If I could have a full on relationship three way with Natsu and Gajeel I would in a heartbeat, just saying. They are both amazing. With that said, this is mainly a Gajevy fic but there will be a little NaLu as well.

Reviews are always appreciated! Thanks for reading!

It hurt. A pain I had never felt before. What is happening? My senses feel dulled and fuzzy. Something warm was close to me, no, it was on top of me.

I open my eyes slowly and see a dark shadow looming over me. I try to move away but my hands are bound underneath me.

"Mmm looks like you are finally awake to enjoy the action. Sorry sweety but I couldn't wait for the drugs to wear off to have some fun." The shadow growls as he leans in and kisses my neck. What is he doing? No...no this isn't happening.

I try to scream but my mouth is wrapped up with a dirty cloth. A dirty smell hits my nose and I almost vomit. I struggle but to no prevail. He is...my brain couldn't even think the word.

"It feels even better now that you are awake to enjoy it." The sick bastard purrs in my ear as he continues his thrusting.

Tears streamed down my face, the salty water stinging in places. Then the pain in the rest of my body decided to make itself known. I hurt everywhere. Calm down Levy. Maybe...maybe if I just let it happen he will finish faster and then it'll be over. Yeah...I breath slowly and my eyes squeeze shut. It'll be over soon. Think about...what? I search for something happy but come up empty.

A ruckus brings me back to reality for a second. Shouting?

"We are under attack! Everyone to arms!" My attacker stops his movement and looks over his shoulder.

"What the fuck...just when I was getting close." He grumbles and pulls away, standing and zipping up his pants. I wince and close my legs unable to stop them from trembling.

"Hurry up you fuckheads! There's only two of them. Take them down!" A man roars in the distance. Her attacker runs off as the shouts grow louder.

I shake off my nausea and look around for a way to escape. That's when I see...

"Lucy!" I murmur through the mouth gag. She was tied up to my right still unconscious. Shit. What do I do? Think Levy. Worry about the other stuff later. Right now you need to escape safely with Lucy!

I roll on my side and get a face full of dirt as I try to maneuver out of the rope binding my hands together. It was too tight. Shit! The shouting outside turns to frantic retreating calls and several men run past the makeshift tents opening. Two people beat the entire camp? Maybe it was a small camp? I turn back to Lucy and try to inch closer to her. If I could just wake her up...

Wait, is that footsteps approaching? I freeze as two men approach. I stare wide-eyed at them too afraid to move.

"Salamander, looks like these shitheads had prisoners." One said as the other approached Lucy and shook her. She moaned and opened her eyes slowly. Good, she was okay. I sigh in relief.

The one named Salamander stiffens and stands up, his nose in the air. "Gajeel, you smell that?" He almost growls out. The other, Gajeel, lets out a snarl that has me trembling harder despite myself.

"Yeah..." He turns his eyes to me and I shrink back as I see his crimson eyes. They looked like orbs of blood. Was he a demon?

Lucy looks at them and then at me. "Come on blondie let me get those ropes off you." Lucys' binds are cut and she runs over to me crying. It felt so good to feel her close to me, especially after what happened. She takes off my mouth gag and I suck in several large breathes of fresh air.

"Please unbind my friend Levy. Please!" She looks at the one called Salamander pleadingly. He nods and starts towards us. Oh no.

"No!" My voice feels raspy. I shake my head and move away from all of them. Red hot adrenaline shoots through me. "Don't come near me. Don't touch me!" I yell. What was this sensation? I was scared of them. It was so absolute and so tangible. I had never been a recluse when it came to touching, especially among friends but now...

"Levy...they are okay. They aren't the bad guys. At least...I don't think they are." Lucy finishes softly and looks at the two guys who had been silent.

The one named Gajeel scoffs and steps forward into the fading light. His face had several piercings and was framed by a mane of pitch black hair that stuck out in every direction possible. He was shirtless and wore baggy black pants and combat boots.

Salamander enters and the first thing I notice is his unruly pink hair. He looked openly concerned at both me and Lucy with eyes black as night. He had no shirt and wore baggy white pants that were bound below his knees and plain black sandals.

I cringe under Gajeels menacing red eyes. He regards me with an unreadable look and then looks at Salamander. "We need to get back home before neighboring camps take notice and come to investigate." He turns back to me and walks forward with a purpose.

"No please. Don't come near me..." I say weakly.

Lucy moves to block his way. "Please, let me cut her binds. I don't want us to cause you more trouble." Gajeel complies and hands over his blade. It looked so large in her small hands but I stay still as she turns and saws at the thick rope.

My hands are free at last and I rub my wrists slowly, not meeting anyones gaze. My brain was running a million miles a second but no coherent thought was clear.

"Good lets get going. C'mon, you two can come with us back home! There's food and plenty of beds." The pink haired guy says with a huge smile. It caught us both off guard and I felt more than saw Lucy shiver slightly.

She turns to look at me and I meet her gaze timidly. She knew something was wrong but didn't want to ask in front of these strangers. We didn't know where we were. We had no food or clothes or money. We had little choice but to go with these men.

I nod and she helps me stand. We step towards our saviors and follow them outside to see the camp on fire.

"Wow...you guys did all this?" Lucy exclaims and the pink haired guy grins widely.

"Hell yeah! These bastards didn't stand a chance." He laughs loudly and Gajeel grins at him. That guy was beyond scary. They both were scary but him more than Salamander.

"Oh by the way, I'm Natsu." He grins and holds out his hand.

"I thought it was Salamander? I'm Lucy and this is my best friend Levy." Lucy grins and takes his hand. Man she was being friendly.

I nod at him but kept my distance. "Hi! And this is Gajeel. I guess he could be called my best friend...we usually work together." Gajeel rolls his eyes and then looks at me again. Why did he keep looking at me?

"Let's go dammit. I'm getting hungry." He growls. "Lily! Come!" He roars and the light padding of paws comes out of the darkness as a large black cat bounds into the light. He was magnificent. All black with a large crescent shaped scar over his left eye.

I feel my legs move on their own accord as I approach the large feline. He regards me with interest and allows me to run my hands over face. A loud purring emits from his throat and I feel a small warmth in my chest.

"He's...beautiful." I whisper. I was never allowed to be around animals. My father despised all creatures and mother wouldn't fight him but I had always yearned for a companion; one who wouldn't judge me or yell at me. Someone I could talk to you and love with no fear of rejection.

"Well don't just stand there shorty. Hop on so we can get moving." Gajeel walks up to the cat and hops onto his back.

I look over to Lucy who was astride a big blue cat with Natsu behind her. She was watching me concerned. Okay Levy this will be fine. You need to get through this and then once you are alone you can let it out into a pillow.

I give Gajeel an uneasy look and he moves farther back on Lilys back to give me more room. I get on the big cats back and lean forward for support. Gajeel moves closer but doesn't touch me. Well, that's surprising. A small voice in the back of my head says as we take off.

The trip wasn't long and that was a relief. The pain between my legs was becoming more apparent with each stride of Lilys body. It really happened. It wasn't my first time nor my fifth but it made no difference. I feel...disgusting. I cringe and cling tighter to Lilys back. The landscape was blurred shades of black as the sun finally set and the moon had yet to rise. I needed a shower. I needed to be alone. I needed...

"We are here." Gajeel says gruffly. The cat had stopped and I didn't even realize it. Natsu and Lucy were staring at me.

I get off without a word. I was on the cusp of breaking down and I'd be damned if it was in front of these strangers. "Thank you both so much for saving us." Lucy saves the day. "We don't want to be a bother...but we are really tired." She says sheepishly and steps closer to me for support. I nod in agreement. We still weren't sure how we even ended up in the camp to begin with.

"Of course! I'll show you to your rooms." Natsu led the way and Gajeel followed. I gave one last look to Lily. What an amazing creature.

Natsu led us to shabby looking building that looked like it had several renovations done over the years. It was patched and old but looked cozy. I follow Natsu with Lucy next to me and Gajeel bringing up the rear. I didn't like him behind me. I try to focus on the building itself but it was blurring. Everything was fuzzy.

I barely heard Natsu say my name and point to a door. That must be my room. I was relieved that we weren't sharing. I knew Lucy wanted to talk but I didn't. I couldn't. I bow my head in silent thanks and run into the room shutting the door behind me as silently as I could before flinging myself onto the large bed.

Okay now I can cry. The tears didn't come. I was numb. So numb I couldn't even form tears and vent my feelings. I roll onto my back and stare up at the vaulted ceiling. I couldn't get the feeling of the mans body on me out of my head. Usually the thought excited me but now it only brought bile to my throat.

Bathroom. Where is the bathroom? Shit. I didn't ask. I wasn't sure how long I had laid there but there was no lights under my door. I tip toe over to it and open it slowly. No squeaking or creaking. Complete silence.

A rustle to my right causes me to jump and cover a shriek with my hand. Lily flicks his tail and stares at me silently. Was he guarding my door? I breath out slowly in relief and walk over to the giant cat to scratch his head.

That's when I see him. He was slumped against Lilys belly, asleep. Gajeel. He had put on a black tunic and blended so completely into Lilys fur that I almost missed seeing him entirely. Maybe they didn't trust us to be left alone so they set guards at our doors? Some guard if he can't even stay up a few hours...

I tip toe past him and head down the hall to a door that revealed a modest sized bathroom and shower. There were a couple of neatly folded clothes in a stack next to the sink. Pajamas? That was thoughtful of them. Then I turn and look into the ornately framed mirror.

Disgusting. I looked horrid and not only because of my matted blue hair and dirty skin but the once elegant pale blue dress was shredded and had mud smeared on it. That's right, we had been at a ball thrown by Lucys father. It was her 16th birthday and the whole kingdom of Crocus had been invited.

I finger the fabric and hesitate taking it off. I didn't want to look at myself. I felt...defiled. Damaged. I turn away from the mirror and strip, pushing the dark thoughts from my mind. I just need a hot shower and to get clean. Then I'll feel fine again.

The water spurts from the high shower head and it's like bathing under a luxurious waterfall. I let the hot water sanitize my skin from head to toe and just stood there for what seemed like hours. Then the scrubbing started. I just needed to scrub hard and get HIM off me. I just needed to get the feeling off my skin. I scrubbed harder with the bristle brush until my skin was raw all over my body.

It wasn't enough. Why wasn't it helping? I bite my lip and lean my forehead against the tiled wall. No one will want me now. I'm damaged goods. I fall to my knees as the tears burst out of me. I was crying so hard and I couldn't stop. They just kept coming and I kept sobbing louder and louder. I had never known despair until that moment. I couldn't touch myself with my bare hands. I couldn't look at myself.

"This isn't your fault, Levy. It's that man's fault." I whisper aloud to myself. I said the words but they dissipated in the stream of water. I hunch lower before turning the water off and slowly drying off with one of the available towels.

I dress quietly avoiding the mirror and my reflection. They had provided a soft pair of baggy pants and a matching shirt for pajamas. It was comfortable and covered up my body enough.

Let's get some sleep Levy. You'll feel better in the morning. My mind soothes and I nod to myself as I tip toe back to my room. My body was starting to sting from the raw scrubbing but the pain felt oddly good. It distracted my mind from the pain in another area. I was so distracted with the pain that I walked right into something hard.

Strong hands grab my arms before I fall backwards and then immediately let me go when I yelp in pain. I look up into Gajeels glowing red eyes. Lily is standing behind him, eyes shining yellow in the dark hallway.

"What the hell are you doing up at this hour, Blue?" He growls and I step back automatically at his aggressive tone. Wait, Blue?

"M-my name is Levy. I wanted to take a shower." I stammer and curse myself for sounding as scared as I felt. I was never a strong girl physically but I could hold my own in a fight of tongues. Where was my courage dammit!

"At three in the morning? What a great time for a shower in an unknown place." I couldn't see it but I felt him frowning deeply down at me like he was disappointed. I just keep screwing up. Fuck. What is wrong with me?

"I'm sorry. I won't do it again..." I mumble and bow my head in shame. Ah shame. I only knew what to call it from the self-help books I'd read to help other people. Now here I was feeling the same thing I told other people to overcome. It was easy after all. At least, I thought so. But now, feeling the red hot heat of shame spread over my face and neck I couldn't remember how to alleviate it. All I wanted to do was crawl under a rock and die.

Gajeel grunts and turns to his cat. "Lil, stay with Blue would you? Make sure she doesn't wander off by herself." He turns on his heel and stalks off, his large form quickly swallowed by the shadows.

I tremble in place unsure whether to feel grateful for the company or ashamed at needing to be babysat.

Lily pads over and nudges my thigh with his great head. I rest a hand on his neck and let him lead me back to my room. He jumps on the bed like he owns the place and stares at me intently. I had never slept with an animal before. Though, the thought of sleeping with a person sent my stomach into flip flops.

I climb in next to him and get comfortable. He readjusts to fit my position and lays his head above mine. His body heat engulfs me and I finally drift into a fitful sleep.

Every noise real or imaginary woke me up that night and soon the sun was shining through the bedroom window.

Lily purrs as I stretch out and scratch him behind the ears. Okay, today was a new day. I'm good. Everything is just fine. I look down at my arm stretched up and notice the skin was red. I really scrubbed hard last night didn't I? I think with a frown.

Don't think about it. You are okay, Levy. You are in a new place with new people and you are with your best friend!

I will myself to smile and get out of bed. There was a neat stack of clothes near the door on a desk. Someone must have dropped those off this morning. I'm surprised I didn't wake up to that. I change quickly and admire the orange sundress. It was lovely although a little short. The hem barely reached mid-thigh. I pull it down self consciously but decide to go with it. It was a gift after all. These people didn't have to dress her or give her pajamas or even let her stay here. Growing up in high society didn't make her an ungrateful lady. On the contrary she valued and appreciated people way more than most of the people her age.

Lily pads over to the door and looks at her expectantly. I smile at him and open the door, following him out into the now brightly light hallway and to the dining room.

It was moderately sized and full of people yelling and laughing. Food and drinking was abundant. I should be hungry. I should eat something. I think as I scan the crowd for Lucy. I didn't want to go into the crowd. So many people. Maybe I should just go back to my room...and that's when I spot her at the bar with Natsu. She was smiling and as happy as could be, all eyes on him as he waves his arms around.

I walk along the wall and manage to skip the majority of the people. Lucy spots me and flings herself at me in a bear hug. I hug her tightly and smile as we step back to check out each others clothes. She had a cute black skirt on with a pink corset style top. It really suited her flirty personality. I look behind her to Natsu and see him admiring her from behind. He catches me watching him and turns away with a raging blush exploding on his cheeks. Well that was cute.

Lucy is talking to me and I struggle to tune back in. "So Natsu was saying we are in Magnolia. It's a few days journey from Crocus. Him and Gajeel can take us home anytime we want!" She's saying happily.

"That's very nice of them." I reply softly. "Do they know who kidnapped us?"

Lucy frowns and nods slowly. "Yeah, they were with a gang called Phantom Lord. Their leader Jose is known for stealing precious commodities and ransoming them back. But it's usually artwork or jewelry. Never people."

I frown at this. So why are we the first? We came from rich families but there was far richer in Fiore. Better question is how did they pull it off? Last I remember we were sitting at a table eating and watching hundreds of people dancing. We were up in front by the throne in front of everyone with guards everywhere. Was it an inside job? Did our fathers have traitors working for them?

My thoughts were interrupted as I felt an unknown heat source on my bare shoulders. I turn quickly and take a step back before seeing it was Gajeel. He had that unreadable look on his face again as he stared at me. What was he thinking? I could practically hear the gears whirling in his head. I was pretty good at reading people from their facial cues and body language but this guy gave nothing away. He was a blank slate.

"Gajeel! About time you joined us. I thought you were supposed to be guarding Levy?" Natsu comes up beside me with a smirk.

Gajeel matches his smirk and I notice his canines are longer than the average persons' like a dog. Well that's scary...

I back step to stand by Lucy and watch as the guys trash talk. They seemed to hate each other but didn't Natsu say they were best friends? Odd.

"Fuck off you flameless nut sack. I was scouting the camps nearby for any intel of the girls kidnappers. Seems those Phantom Fuckheads have been grabbing girls from all across the continent." He growls out. Natsu laughs surprising me and Lucy.

"W-what's so funny Natsu?" Lucy asks and he looks at her with a wide grin and glinting black eyes. He had long canines as well. Were they related? What a weird trait for family members to share...

His face abruptly turned dark and made me shrink back behind Lucy. "Because now we get to hunt them down and make them wish they never got the idea of kidnapping helpless women." He was terrifying. They both were. What were we doing here? Calm down Levy! Dammit.

My fearful brown eyes shoot up to Gajeel as he pushes past Natsu and leans down to look at me. I was already up against the bar and couldn't back up any farther. It was too much. Too many people. Unfamiliar place. I hurt all over. My head, my chest, my...Fuck!

I bolt. Lucy yells after me but I don't stop. I didn't know where else to go so I run back to my room and shut the door. The silence engulfs me and I breathe hard. The tears flowed over my pale cheeks with relish as I stare up at the unfamiliar ceiling. Why were we still here? We should've started towards home early in the morning.

A dull thudding was sounding in my ears like a heart beat. Why can't it be quiet? I just want complete silence. Ba-bum...ba-bum...ba-bum...over and over.

I grab my head willing it to stop. Ba-bum...ba-bum...

"Ahhh! Shut up!" I cry and dive head first into the bed, burying my face in the sheets trying to find silence.

'Mmm feels so good now that you are awake.' The bastards sickly sweet voice plays through my head and then goes farther, 'Oh yeah...that's it just a little more.' No no please not inside me. I don't want that inside me! My mind screams as the dream keeps going.

"Levy!" That didn't sound like the bastard. "Levy, snap out of it!" I gasp and bolt up narrowly missing Lucys' face.

"Lucy!" I cry and fling myself at her unable to hold it back any longer. The tears flow and I sob heavily into her neck. She holds me tightly and rubs my back cooing.

"Shhh it's okay Le, I'm here. Just let it out." She whispers. The door opens and I miss the look between her and Gajeel.

Soon, a warm hard mass bumps my leg and I choke out a smile as Lily impatiently nudges me. "C'mere Lil." I murmur and he jumps up and encircles me and Lucy.

"What...what happened Le?" Lucy says as my sobs become less frequent. I pull back and gratefully accept the tissue box that she hands over.

"I...one of the guys...the kidnappers...he..." I couldn't say the word. It was so disgusting and my tongue wouldn't acknowledge it's existence.

"Did he attack you while I was unconscious?" She looks at me intently and I decide that's a good enough interpretation. We were best friends but I know she kept intimate details of her life to herself sometimes. This would be my burden, my foul secret.

"Yeah...it scared me so bad but then Natsu and Gajeel started attacking and he left thankfully." I distract myself by petting Lily.

Lucy nods in understanding. "Those bastards! How dare they do this to us. Once we get back I'll tell Father and then they will have the whole Crocus army on their butts!" Her face is scrunched in anger. Yes, her father was very powerful and could command the entire militia with the drop of his hand. It was a nice thought but didn't comfort me.

I smile and feign happiness at her idea. She was a good friend for caring so much. Though, I'm glad I didn't tell her the truth. She wouldn't know how to deal with it. Maybe she would treat me differently and I didn't want that. I needed her support.

We sit there in comfortable silence for what seemed like hours. Both in our own thoughts. Lily snoozed next to us and I silently thanked Gajeel for lending me his cat. If only he wasn't so fucking scary looking...

"Levy what's wrong?" Lucy scoots closer and puts her hand on my leg.

"I just...I just want to go home." I deflect. The sooner we get home the better. No reason to bring up the red eyed man now.

She sighs and nods. "I know. I already sent a note via raven to Father telling him where we are. I want to wait for a reply." That meant we would be here a few days at least. Maybe even a week. Fuck my life.

I nod slowly and decide to change the subject. I needed to stop dwelling on what happened and just forget about it. Classic aversion technique. The best way to deal with pain is to smoosh it and ignore it. "So...you find out if his hair is naturally pink?" I say slyly with a grin. Lucy blushes crimson and stutters, knowing exactly who I'm referring to.

"O-oh well...no. I asked him last night if he could keep my company so I wasn't scared and he left that big blue cat Happy with me and said he would watch my door." I gawk at her. No one had every refused Lucy. It was a little comical.

"Are you sure he even knew what you were implying? Maybe he's not too bright..." I muse. She shrugs but doesn't look too hurt over it.

"He woke me up with clothes and a huge grin, saying he couldn't wait to show me their home." She smiles and twirls her hair. "He's really sweet."

Unlike his counterpart. I glower wishing Natsu was my guard instead of the stoic Gajeel. Though he did have his moments or more like he let his cat do the nice work.

"Anyway, Natsu wanted to take you and me fishing today. He says Happy loves it and it'd give us a chance to see the environment around here. You should come!"

I start to agree and then stop. Having to keep up the happy face would be exhausting. I need to be alone. The distraction may be nice but I just couldn't keep it up all day. My brain wouldn't let me forget this shit that easily.

"I'm not feeling too well. I'm going to stay in and rest today." I say apologetically. She frowns but nods and gets up.

"Okay well we will be back before dark. You get better and I'll see you at dinner." She hugs me quickly and I try not to cling to her comforting gesture.

She shuts the door quietly and I'm plunged into silence. The thudding in my ears slowly returns as I frantically look around for a distraction. Why did I want to be alone? I don't want to work through this. I just want to forget about it!

I hold my head and whimper quietly. How does one deal with this shit? I didn't know anyone that has been through this...or...at least they didn't tell me.

Lily makes a disgruntled noise and walks towards the door. "I guess you don't want to be around me either, huh kitty." I murmur and pull myself off the bed. I felt like a black cloud was hanging over me and any minute the rain would come. Tears prick my eyes as I open the door for Lily only to see Gajeel standing, arms crossed and looking angry.

"Why the hell are you staying holed up in your room, eh?" He growls and moves forward. I hastily step back out of his way and he barges in looking around and then focusing his red hot gaze back on me.

I shrink under the glare and look down at my feet. "Well? Didn't blondie ask you to go outside?" I shrug.

"I wanted to stay in."

"Oh it looks like you are having a blast in here too!" He frowns and stands right in front of me. So close. I back up.

"Hey are you even listening Blue? Look at me dammit." He reaches out a gloved hand and I jerk back afraid.

"Don't, please. I-I'm sorry. I'll go outside." I stammer still unable to look higher than his waist.

His hand falls to his side and I hear him suck in a huge breath. Was he going to hit me? He seemed angry at me. Was it a bad omen for a guest to stay inside? Did I break one of their customs?

"I aint gonna hurt you, got it?" His voice sounded so different then it did seconds ago. I run my finger nails over my thighs, digging them into the soft flesh to try and keep control. A nervous habit that seems to have reemerged. Father will be thrilled. I was so confused. I was afraid of being so close to a strange man and I didn't want him to be angry. I don't know what to say to him.

I continue looking at his waist, focusing on the worn leather belt that held his baggy pants loosely around his hips.

He sighs and a small tube comes into my line of sight. "For your skin. It looks really bad." He grunts and I finally look up at his face. He's looking everywhere but at me but there was a faint flush to his cheeks. Was he embarrassed? I look down and gingerly take the tube of cream, unsure of what to say. It was a surprising gesture. Not even Lucy had commented on how red my skin looked.

I look up and he's watching me, unsure by my silence. "Thank you, Gajeel." I smile feeling a small ray of sunshine break through my black cloud.

He grins, flashing a long canine but this time it wasn't as scary. "Now you are in my debt and this afternoon I'm taking you outside. So be ready." I gape and as he laughs a strange "Gihi" noise and walks out the door.

Well fuck, what a manipulative bastard. I can't help but smile though as I sit on the bed and begin rubbing the cream over my sensitive arms. What a bastard...

End Note: Well that's the first chapter. Thoughts?

Thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you for the reviews/follows/favorites. I apologize for the shorter chapter but I hope you still enjoy it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tale.

Chapter 2

I fidget, standing by the main door to the old building, apparently called a Guild Hall, wondering where he wanted to meet. The rest of the day was spent preparing for this event. I wasn't naturally a social person but I never hated hanging out with people. However, just thinking about leaving my room and going out into the hall was an effort. I didn't want to talk to anyone or have anyone see me.

Relief floods through me as I see Lily sauntering over from the shadows. "Where's Gajeel?" I ask half hoping the cat would answer. He just stares at me and then moves towards the door.

"Should we start and have him catch up?" I felt so comfortable with the animal. It was a welcome feeling from the building stress of human interaction. I had felt momentarily happier after Gajeels' short intrusion but soon the black cloud grew darker. How can I think through this when I can't even form one coherent thought? That fucking thudding noise pounds my eardrums every quiet moment I get and his voice...that bastard...floods my head.

I open the door and follow Lily outside. The sun was shining and made visible the desert type landscape surrounding the building behind me. Red rock and shrubbery could be seen from all sides. About a mile away there was a forest line of taller trees. Those trees look beautiful even from back here.

"Come on Lil! Let's check out the area before Gajeel comes." I love forests. There was some beautiful ones surrounding Crocus but Father never let me go out to them; afraid of bandits and men wanting to steal me. Ironic how it still happened and right under his nose.

I squeal as Lily butts his head between my legs and flings me up and over to grab his back fur as he charges forward. The cool wind whips my face, tangling my hair, and for once I don't give a shit about anything. I was free. Nothing could hurt me. I yell and scream in joy as the world blurred past us.

The line of trees comes into view and Lily slows down to a trot as we cross the threshold.

I get off Lily's back and take in the forest slowly. It was a sight to be seen being in the desert and far from a natural water source. Finally some fresh air. I breathe in and the scent hits me like a sledgehammer. That smell. My mind whirls as it fills my nose and mouth bringing images to surface.

" _Yo! Grab the bitch and let's get going!"_

" _C'mon princess. Time to go." A man's voice growls. He grabs my hair and hauls me to my feet. I cling to the large tree trunk._

" _No! I will not go. I refuse!" I yell angrily feeling my strength failing and the large man continuous pulling._

 _A rough hand grabs my neck and another forces a weird smelling rag on my mouth, gagging me._

" _You'll be a lot easier to handle like this…" The sick voice of my rapist whispers in my ear as blackness clouds my thinking until there is nothing._

I shake my head realizing I had fallen to my knees. The smell was thick in my throat, choking me. A smell I would've loved has now been tainted. Everything spins as I try to focus my thoughts. No. It was too much.

"Got to get away…" I murmur, springing to my feet and running back down the path towards the tree line. Can't breathe. I need fresh air. This air is tainted. I'm tainted.

My fists clench and I run faster. The tree line wasn't getting closer. Why was it so far away? Can't breathe. _"You'll be a lot easier to handle like this…"_ His voice rings over and over in my head. He knew. He knew when he drugged me what he was going to do to me. Bile rises in my throat and I stumble over, retching. The smell of trees makes me dry heave harder until nothing is left.

I stumble backwards, dazed before seeing the end of trees and continuing my run in desperation.

I burst through the tree lining into the sunlight, falling to my hands and knees. My stomach turns angrily and my head felt close to exploding. The dirt grinds against my skin but I don't care. I spread my fingers through the dirt and suck in several breathes of air. Fuck. What is wrong with me? They are trees. God damn trees, Levy!

Tears flow, creating small wet spots in the dirt. I stare at them, not able to grasp onto one thought or another.

The numb feeling washes over me, consuming me. I can't think. I'm so fucking dirty; tainted like those trees; like their smell. Disgusting.

"I'm disgusting." I'm almost startled hearing my thoughts voiced. It hurt my throat to talk. Had I been screaming? No, I didn't think so. It was the disgusting air. It burned my throat and lungs. It was toxic. Oh and puking up my insides.

I clench my fists, feeling the hard dirt grind under my fingernails. The slight pain registers in my head and I rub the ground harder. It hurt. I can deal with physical pain. I rub harder, staring as the ground becomes clumped with my blood. The pain slices through my foggy thoughts and I blink slowly. I was never self-destructive growing up though I've helped people overcome wanting to hurt themselves. I was a fool. The pain provided relief that I desperately needed.

"Blue?" A voice sounds from somewhere behind me. Oh yeah…I was meeting Gajeel. My brain turns this information over slowly before I realize that he was actually here and I looked like a fucking basket case, hands bleeding and crying my eyes out. Fuck me.

"Yeah…?" I say trying to act like what I was doing was normal. I lift my hands and wipe my face with the backs. Not looking at my palms, I casually swing around, hands behind my back.

Gajeel is walking towards me with Lily at his side wearing nothing but his combat boots and baggy pants. His shirt is slung over his neck and there's a crude headband holding his hair out of his face. My heart pounds even though my body tenses in fear. Get a hold of yourself, Levy. If he was going to do something he would've already! Yes, however we are out in the desert alone now, my mind counters to itself. Shit, shut up!

"Oi, you could've waited for me ya know." He scowls and folds his arms across his bare and muscled chest. He must do a shit load of push-ups, I think absentmindedly before realizing I was blatantly staring at his chest.

I stare up at him, trying to process what he's saying. The pain in my hands was fading and I needed another outlet. I needed to be alone.

"I'm going back to my room. I'll see you later." My automatic response sounded casual enough and I turn without a second glance starting to walk back to the Guild hall, my mind already shutting down against the sick voice starting to repeat again.

"Like hell you are Blue." I hear a growl and he's in front of me. So fast. He was like a predator. Was I the prey? Maybe he really would hurt me…

He stares at me for a long minute, not saying anything. I look to the side, fidgeting and waiting for him to say something, wishing I was in my room alone. "Let me see." He says and slowly holds out his hands, palms up. I tense. How did he know?

"What?" I reply dumbly, trying to buy time. I didn't want a stranger involved in my business. I was already fucking ashamed to feel like this. I don't need anyone else knowing what a wreck I was becoming.

"Your hands. I can smell the blood. Let me see them." He spoke softer than before and kept his hands out. He wasn't physically forcing me to show him. I didn't have to show him. He was giving me the option. My heart pounded at this thought and my brain was silent as I tentatively reached out my hands and laid them palm up over his.

I stared at the dirt and smeared blood. Did I really do that? He makes a disapproving noise and I look up to see him frowning in thought. He's probably thinking I'm a crazy person; that I need therapy. Fuck, am I crazy? Do crazy people do this shit?

"Well, we have two options: we go back to the guild hall to properly bandage and clean these scraps or we crudely bandage and clean now and continue with my original plans." He looks up catching me watching him with his garnet eyes.

My choice. He's letting me choose. "What did you have planned?" I whisper, not being able to break eye contact. He smirks, showing a long canine, and gently squeezes my hands.

"Self-defense. Though it'll be modified now that you can't use your hands like I planned." How to defend myself? Did he know? No…he couldn't. I didn't tell anyone. I couldn't bring myself to question him though. The idea was interesting but made me nervous. Being a lady, I wasn't allowed to take combat classes so I had zero idea what it entailed. If I had known how to defend myself maybe I could've prevented being kidnapped and then….

Fuck this. Let's try it. I nod at him and his smirk grows. "I choose option two." I say timidly.

Two hours later, option one was looking really good. My palms throbbed from clenching them and the makeshift bandages were stained through with blood. I was covered in dirt and had fresh cuts on my knees from falling over and over again.

"Again. You have to come at me as if to kill me, Blue." Gajeel says for the millionth time. I breathe in deeply and charge at him, swinging my right leg up for a roundhouse kick to his head that he easily deflects. I growl and alternate my goal by going for his leg out of desperation. He easily jumps back, watching as I lose my balance and stumble to the ground.

"How can I kill someone without a weapon?" I growl out, feeling more helpless than before. If anything, this exercise was showing me how fucking weak and uncoordinated I am. Angry tears spring up and I look away, ashamed.

"Your body is your best weapon. You are small. Your opponent will expect you to be weak. Use that to your advantage and kick their ass before they have time to touch you." Gajeel just stands there, arms crossed, looking at me.

He was so calm the whole time. Every time I failed he would just say 'Do it again'. Why was he helping me? He must have other things to do so why spend all this time on me, a complete stranger? I wanted to ask but was afraid of the answer. Somehow, deep down I knew that he knew but the realization of someone else knowing the disgusting truth…well…I couldn't accept it.

"You just have to come at me like you mean to kill me." He says again and I sigh heavily, collapsing to the ground in defeat.

"But I don't want to kill you. I don't want to kill anyone." I mutter, staring at the ground as the tears start falling without mercy. I really didn't want to kill anyone. But, hurting someone, well one person came to mind. My fists clench as his shadowy face comes into view. I wanted to hurt him so bad. I wanted him to pay for causing me this turmoil.

"I want revenge." I whisper, half to myself. It sounded good to say. "There's someone I want to hurt." Growing up as a Lady, such words would've caused mayhem around me. Lady's do not say such things. No one in the royal houses said such things.

"Now THAT we can work with, Blue." Gajeel laughs and I see a gloved hand come into view. I grab it without thinking and he hauls me to my feet. "But we need to get your hands looked at and I'm fucking starving." His crude yet casual manner made me relax a little and the bastards face vanishes from view. I would get my revenge. That fucker won't know what hit him. Somehow, I'll find him and he will pay.

The guild hall was busy as always as I follow Gajeel to the infirmary. I couldn't see Lucy anywhere so hopefully she got her pink-haired beau to see the light…my cheeks get hot at the thought. Why am I suddenly thinking dirty?

I find myself watching Gajeels' hips sway as he walks. I trail my eyes up his back, following the soft curve of his spine to his bulky shoulders. He was built like a championship brawler and had the crude attitude to go with it. That didn't sound so bad…Father would never approve. I smile sadly. Soon, Lucy and I will be gone from here and back home. All this will be just a distant memory. I stop as Gajeel stops in front of a large wooden door. I will never see Gajeel again. My heart clenches at the thought. Why do I care? I barely know him. My mind scoffs and I frown. It's true, I barely know the guy.

"Oi Squirt, c'mere. Look at Blue's hands." His gruff voice breaks through my thoughts as a small blue haired girl skips over to me.

"Hi! I'm Wendy. Let me see your hands please." She was so sweet sounding, I reach out my hands without hesitation.

She makes a disapproving noise and pulls me over to a bed. I sit and she unwraps my hands and proceeds to clean the dirt induced cuts.

Gajeel leans against the door frame watching me intently. What was he thinking? He sounded like he wanted to continue our lessons. I wanted to continue our lessons. I wanted, no, I needed to. I needed get stronger.

Soon after, we leave the infirmary and head to the dining hall. My hands were completely healed; not a scratch on them. I didn't know what she did. I spaced out and the next moment they were healed, like magic. I scoff at the notion. So few people were thought to possess magic that it was taboo to even think about. At least in the royal city. Maybe these outlying areas thought differently. I would have to ask Gajeel later.

The noise volume gets steadily louder as we approach and I move closer to Gajeel. There was so many people living here, so many strangers.

He doesn't move away or comment but instead heads straight to the bar where Lucy and Natsu were already eating. She looked so happy as she listened to him talk. She doesn't seem worried about leaving in a few days, I think bitterly, wishing I didn't naturally think of the most negative possible outcome and dread it. Along with the nervous fidgeting, my mind seems to be reverting back to my adolescent years of self-mutilation and cynicism. Great.

"Levy!" The scream rips me back to the dining hall just as Lucy collides into me for a hug. I laugh as she hugs me tightly.

"Two beers, Mira." Gajeel mutters as he turns his back on us and stares at the bar wall.

"You have to fill me in on your day! I couldn't find you after we got back and someone said you were out training? Is that true?" She bounces around, giddy as a schoolgirl. Maybe she did get some after all.

I blush and take the empty seat next to Gajeel. "Yeah, Gajeel is teaching me self-defense. It's really hard but I like it a lot." I smile over at him but he isn't watching.

"Good idea Metalhead!" Natsu laughs loudly and slaps him on the back. "Why didn't I think of that?"

"Because you are a fucking idiot." Gajeel growls and shrugs off the other mans' hand.

"Oi you wanna go Black Steel?" Natsu taunts and I watch Gajeels face twist into a smirk as he whips around to face Natsu. So many weird nicknames…they must spend a lot of time just coming up with new ones for their trash talk. I sigh and watch as Gajeel lunges at Natsu and they start brawling, bringing others into the mix as they roll around.

"They sure are energetic." Lucy sighs as she sits next to me. They sure are. I sip the beer Gajeel ordered and feel my body really start to relax for the first time since the kidnapping.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hello! Well it's been a few years...so much has happened but I still love this story and want to finish it. It hits home with me as I'm sure many of you can relate to it as well. I wanted to finish this is 3 chapters but I'm going to extend it out. Thanks for reading!

A week has flown by and I'm still not able to land a punch on Gajeel. I have managed to not fall as often from his deflections though and that's boosted my mood. Actually, being around Gajeel has helped my whole outlook shift upwards. His gruff demeanor has become adorable and when he grabbed my arm to keep me from falling down the last time I didn't flinch.

"That's enough for today, Blue." The shirt I'm wearing is drenched in sweat and I whine my disappointment. Gajeel smirks and smacks my back sending me forward. He was never afraid of hurting me and I was starting to appreciate the roughness. He didn't treat me like a breakable object. "You don't want to overdo it, short-stack. Besides, I'm starving."

"If you never got hungry I think you would train all day without stopping." I tease and poke his stomach playfully.

His grin widens, "Gihi, you are right about that." He stretches out his arms and legs as I wipe the sweat from my face and look up at the darkening sky. I loved it here. The guild hall was great. The people were so nice. Gajeel was well….my brain skids to stop. That was the no-no zone. I had refused to think of my relationship with Gajeel being anything other than friendly. But it was so hard to think he liked me just as a friend when he pushed people out of my way to get to the bar at dinner and when he threatened those two boys with their lives if they hit on me one more time.

I blush at the memory and sneak a peek at Gajeel to find him staring at me with an unreadable expression. I look away blushing harder. Stop it Levy. He's just being nice to you. Somehow he knows about what happened and he's just being nice. Like a protective older brother. An older brother who is amazingly hot and always smells good and…stop! My brain yells and I physically shake my head to stop the dirty train of thought.

"You ready yet? I'm going to die of starvation waiting for you to finish your girl stretches." I drawl knowing he was the one waiting on me.

He snorts and straightens his face back to the cocky grin I've grown so accustomed to. "Go ahead. Call him." I smile broadly and jump to my feet.

I put my two fingers in my mouth and blow, letting out a shrill whistle. Gajeel had taught me how to whistle and my only reason for wanting to learn it was for this moment. Lily comes bounding up the road out of nowhere and skids to a stop in front of me. I fling my arms around his furry neck and snuggle him like a I would a large stuffed animal. He purrs deeply in reply.

"Oi lovebirds. I'm dying of starvation over here." Gajeel yells and I giggle thinking he sounded just a bit jealous. He swings onto Lily's back effortlessly and I do the same taking the lead position this time. Gajeel says nothing about the new arrangement.

Lily vaults forward and Gajeel wraps his arm around my middle to keep me from falling off at the sudden movement. "Hold his neck fur. It won't hurt him and there's a lot to grip." Gajeel's mouth is right next to my ear so I can hear him but I can't help the blush from exploding on my face. I do as he says but am secretly happy he keeps his arm wrapped around me.

Dinner is in full swing as we walk down the hall to the main room. We separate at my room, him going down another hall to his room and me to mine to change clothes. I had only seen his room once and only briefly as he opened and shut the door. He was rarely in there anymore and I guess I could say the same for my neglected bedroom. I barely had time to sleep before waking up early and training all day. Then we would get back after dark for dinner and by that time I'm exhausted and collapse into the soft bed still clothed.

Tonight I planned to land a blow on him. It would be a sneak attack. He's the one that told me to always be prepared no matter the situation. I decide against wearing anything different though so as not to raise his suspicion. He noticed everything. Even if I decided to wear some leggings instead of my orange dress he would suspect something was up and question me to death with his unnerving stare. Gajeel didn't even have to say anything out loud to me anymore. I could read his expressions for the most part and know what he's thinking. Only sometimes…he has a look that is still baffling; like earlier when I caught him watching me stretch. What was he thinking?

The orange dress was simple and easy to move in for kicking. The fact that I'd be flashing him with my panties was what made me change them to some simple black boyshorts. He didn't need to see the light blue ones with kitties on it. I'd never live it down.

I wait outside my room for him to reappear. This was our ritual. I was always by his side. It just sort of happened. The first couple of nights I was too scared to go to the rowdy main room by myself and he always passed my door on his way there. I wasn't scared of the people anymore but I still waited for him. Maybe I could attack him now? No. Too soon. It has to be when he's completely engrossed in something else. Like fighting Natsu. Another reason for me and Lucy to stay here. She told me last night at dinner in a hushed tone that she might love him. I'd never heard her so the "L" word before and the look on her face...well it was enough to convince me she was right. We had both grown attached to this guild.

The sound of footsteps brings me back to the present. Gajeel rounds the corner and heads towards me in a clean, loose-fitting maroon shirt and baggy black pants with black combat boots. His red eyes scan my figure in what I've taken to be an analysis of injuries before they come back to my face. He stops in front of me, closer than I let anyone else get and raises his hand to touch a sore spot of my cheek.

I take in his many iron piercings, his high cheekbones and angular jaw. "This is bruising up nicely, I'd say." He says, softly rubbing my bruised cheek. It was from the last time I fell. Hit a rock and thought I'd gotten a minor concussion. I remember the proud look he had when I got back up on my own, swaying on my feet but still able to charge him again and again.

He was so close right now. My body was ultra-aware of his fingers still on my cheek, almost like he forgot they were there. He looked lost in thought as he slowly moved his fingers to my ear, tucking back some hair. My heart was pounding. Every cell in my body wanted to kiss him but I knew it wouldn't last. The fact that Lucy and I would be leaving soon was always a cold bucket of water on my emotions. I gulp and force my body to move away from him, breaking the warm bubble we had been in. He drops his hand and stuffs them in his pants pockets, not looking at me.

"Let's eat Blue." His nickname for me lightens the mood and I smile and nod, taking my place at his side as we walk down the hall, both in our own thoughts.

Natsu picks a fight with Gajeel almost immediately after we enter the main room and they start throwing punches and rolling around.

I smile at them and make my way to the bar where Lucy is sitting talking to Mirajane, the bartender.

"Levy! Thank god. You have to be the deciding factor her." Lucy says and Mira giggles as she hands me a beer.

"Okay what's up?" I sip the beer, vaguely aware of the fight getting more intense behind me.

"Mira says Gajeels piercings are personal preference but I think they are a mark of his past, like a tribe where he grew up. Do you know?" They both stare at me expectantly. News that Gajeel was training me spread like wildfire and the fact that we were practically joined at the hip for the last week was a huge gossip topic right now. Just because we were together that whole time didn't mean we were talking. I didn't know everything about him and he knew very little about me. This topic, however, I did know but I was reluctant to say. It was his business.

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" I say and hide small smile behind my glass as Mira and Lucy start arguing again. I had asked him about the piercings on the third day of training. We were taking a break and I was just starting to get bolder around him. It had taken him some time to answer and I almost thought he wouldn't. 'They represent friends and family I have lost.' He had said. Before coming to the guild, he had been part of another group that he had grown up with. They weren't blood related but they had been together for so long, they were his family. One night, their settlement had been attacked. Gajeel had been out on a hunting trip. He came back to everyone dead. To this day, he still doesn't know who was responsible. It seemed like a random attack. His small family had been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I turn in my barstool and watch Gajeel wrestling with Natsu. They had a group formed around them with loud trash talk filling the air. I felt so comfortable here. It had only been a week since we were kidnapped and I knew it would take time to heal my spirit. But...being here was helping it. These people were helping. Gajeel was helping. I watch him put Natsu in a headlock and he looks up to meet my gaze as if knowing I was looking. He had taught me that headlock move just today. The thought of how his solid chest felt pressed against my back heated my face and I break eye contact, embarrassed at the way it heated my whole body.

Natsu breaks the hold and they go back to wrestling. I order some wings for Gajeel because I knew he would like them and a burger for myself. My appetite was scary huge since the training had started.

The food comes and without turning around I half shout, "Gajeel!". Even through the chaos I hear him break away from Natsu and come over. He had amazing hearing and sense of smell. Natsu complains about him losing to him but is soon cut off as Lucy calls him for the same reason. I never seen him move so fast. He's by her side in a second with half a burger gone.

I look to my side as Gajeel stuffs another handful of wings in his mouth, expertly pulling out the bones and not choking. He looks over at me and clears his throat; a blush on his cheeks. "After dinner...can we talk outside?" He mumbles it and I almost don't hear it all but after seeing the blush I was hyper aware that he was saying something important. I nod knowing my face was red as well.

He's pulled back into the fray as Natsu and Gray, another fighting buddy, throw punches at each other. What could he want to talk about? He had that same look again. My brain whirls and I don't notice the quiet in the room until Lucy jabs my ribs and hisses for me to look around.

I spin in my chair and watch the small elderly man walk towards us. It was the master of the guild hall, Makarov. Lucy and I hadn't met him yet as he was away on a business trip this last week. He had a tired expression but his smile was gentle as he jumped onto the table in front of us. The other members were silent and staring at him. Even Gajeel and Natsu weren't moving.

"Ladies, I'm so happy to finally meet you. I bring good news with me as I just came from visiting Lucy's father." My heart plummets.

"He wanted to send an escort for you two but I offered my own guys instead. He'd like you to start the journey home immediately of course. He was overjoyed to hear you were both safe." Blood rushes in my ears and all I can hear is the pounding. I look over his shoulder to Gajeel to see him stiff as a board. His hands were clenched so tightly and his head bowed so I couldn't see his expression.

Lucy sways next to me and I grab her arm bringing her back to reality. "Is...is there any way we can stay here longer?" I say softly. "We don't want to impose but…" I really didn't know what to say. Us being here wasn't supposed to last. We should want to go home, right?

Makarov, raises an eyebrow and takes in our sullen faces. "I'm sorry...but the King seemed adamant that you two return to the kingdom." I nod and bow my head trying to remain composed. No one says a word. No one moves.

Lucy physically shakes herself and stands up. I recognize the look on her face. The mask of calm. It's her way of dealing with an unpleasant situation. I've seen her use it many times during royal functions. "Thank you, Master Makarov for letting us stay in your home. We have greatly appreciated the hospitality of your guild. We will be ready to leave at sunrise tomorrow." She bows her head and I hastily stand and follow suit.

"Very good child. I'll get a couple guys together to help escort you back home."

"Gajeel and I will take them." Natsu's voice sounds rough and I can't bring myself to look at him. Lucy flinches at it and her eyes look glassy as she looks over at me.

"Perfect. You'll make better time on Happy and Lily. Very good. Eat up and head out at first light." With that Makarov jumps down from the table and heads behind the bar to a back office.

Lucy and I share a look and her mask breaks into a sniffling mess. Before I can move Natsu has her face in his chest and bear hugging her to death. She cries harder and the sound wrenches my heart even more. We shouldn't have gotten so comfortable here. I look up and am not surprised to see Gajeel at left. He wasn't good with sappy moments. It's for the best. I tell my heart as it aches for the same affection that Lucy is receiving.

I slip out of the hall unnoticed and practically run to my room. It was fine. I was fine. My room seemed cold and unfamiliar as I shut the door and barreled into the bed pillows. I couldn't stop the tears from coming and I cried quietly till exhaustion took hold.


End file.
